the sweet life: a breakthrough

ok, so I have to be honest. It hasn't been all rainbows and butterflies on our end the last couple days. The terrible twos have came knocking on our door... early. Early and HARD. I have had my moments where I have felt like a failure as a mom. Why won't she eat? Why does every little event have to result in a 30 minute long fit? Why is she hitting? Where is all of this anger and violence coming from? It surely isn't something she has seen in our home, and dealing with it day in and day out and having no light at the end of the tunnel -just blackness for what seems like the next twenty million miles can be really, really exhausting.

This morning was rough. I was at my breaking point - just at a total loss. I felt like I couldn't take one more fit, getting slapped in the face by a one year old one more time, or one more rejected meal. I just needed a break. But when your husband works 12 hours a day, sometimes you CAN'T just get a break. Sometimes you just have to suck it up. I am still learning a lot about motherhood, and one thing I have been learning lately is there will be days where you just have to grin and bare it. Not every day is going to be trips to the park, and baking, and watching movies in tents all day. Nope - some days your child will throw fits, and some days you will thank God at the end of the day that you just survived the day. The toddler years are hard. There is no doubting that. I try to embrace her headstrong personality and love every bit of it, but there are just days where no, I don't love being hit and I don't love being disobeyed, and I don't love being just blatantly ignored. But that's motherhood. Those days don't mean you have failed, and they don't mean you are a bad mom.

Monday my mom and I went to Target and Kinley had one of the infamous meltdowns right smack in the middle of the store, cart filled to the brim. Nope, this wasn't a 'head back to the car' fit.. we were stuck. I handed her little pink light up pumpkins, cell phones playing Mickey Mouse, graham crackers ..you name it, it got chucked out of that little red Target cart onto the tile floor faster than you can blink. I don't know how we did it but we made it through that fit, we did. A few aisles later, I told my mom I felt bad for getting frustrated with her. And she asked me why I felt bad. I said, "I don't know..I just felt like I was going to ring her little neck." and my mom said "Of course you did, that's normal. All moms feel that way sometimes. But you didn't even seem frustrated at all." That is another skill you get really awesome at when you become a mom - staying calm and collected when you really want to throw yourself on the floor and have a stage 10 meltdown your self.

Being a mom is all about learning, and one of the most important things I can say to moms out there is this: there is NO way to be a perfect mom, but there are a million ways to be a GOOD one. It's so true.

In the midst of all of the frustration of this little toddler's temper piling up this week, I just needed a break. I prayed for a breakthrough and do you know what I got? My picky eater ate 2 scrambled eggs and a piece of toast. Sure, it took over an hour to do so, but that's beside the point. Guess what came after the breakfast? A THREE AND A HALF HOUR NAP. My battery was recharged and when I watched that little blonde headed tornado sleep next to me, I was reminded why being a mom really is the best thing in the world.